Discover more from Weekend Wisdom - Dan Isaacman
What Do You Expect?
How to improve your work and personal relationship
When you started your first job, did your boss and colleagues expect you to be outstanding during your first week?
The early stages of the process are about learning, growing and making mistakes.
You soak up as much information before you start to dive into the practical aspects of delivering high-quality outputs.
You eventually become autonomous and work without help, relying more on what you learn through experience to make your own decisions.
Fast forward a few months later, and you can expect that you now have more responsibilities. You might even have to manage a team or train a new employee.
Over time your clients and coworkers will start to develop a picture of you in their minds based on the expectations you set.
Do you start late and finish early?
Are you someone they can go to, to get the job done?
Do you keep your promises?
It becomes part of your job to you to set the bar for how people perceive you and your work ethic.
This perception of what we do, our attitude, and what we are willing to tolerate shapes the way that others behave around us.
They start to build a mental image of our character and how they can interact with us effectively.
Expectations Make you Miserable.
Similar to work, in the beginning, we expect nothing from a relationship. We usually will appreciate and also forgive the actions of our newly established relationship, whether it be, social, romantic or professional.
The expectations that we set for ourselves and others are essential in a professional setting.
However, when we judge others and bring expectations and demands to our personal relationships and life, we become miserable when they are not met.
Often, unconditional acceptance of our relationships seem to fade, and expectations creep in, leaving a trail of disappointment.
Practical Solutions To Get What You Want
Expectation Remedies that will change your life are;
Only ask of people what you would be willing to do yourself
When you do ask for something, have options and suggested outcomes, instead of being fixated on one solution
By expecting things will play out exactly how you want them, you often set yourself up for disappointment, failure and frustration.
Letting go of our expectations is particularly challenging because we forfeit our certainty. Still, by surrendering to the result, we allow more opportunities to flow and practice gaining control over our mind and thoughts. Simultaneously we become the person that people want to help more.
Life is a negotiation, and your ability to react to your relationships, professional and personal, will determine the quality of your life.
We set the standards for how people perceive us, and we also create fictional characters of others in our minds to anticipate how they will act.
Next time you feel yourself falling prey to the fallacy of expecting others to do or act in a certain way, see if you can flip your perception and realise there is beauty in every moment regardless of the outcome.
Being free from expectations will allow you to become more genuine and in turn, people will want to help you.
Think about a time you expected something and did not get it.
Do you have a friend who always flips the bill?
On the occasion where they don't pay, you get thrown off because you eventually came to believe that they would cover you every time.
Remember that birthday where you told your family what you wanted, and you were so excited as you were opening your present, only to be slightly disappointed that it was not what you wanted?
Maybe you cooked a beautiful meal, so you expected that someone else would wash the dishes and you are left feeling miserable, standing there with the sponge in your hand.
Imagine if instead of feeling down about doing the dishes, you could trade that feeling for gratitude. Instead of thinking “ I have to do this” say “I get to do this”.
How amazing is it that you can wash the dishes with ease because you have free-flowing water, a sink and two able hands?
What if you could be grateful for the fact that you had the opportunity to cook and to eat a healthy meal?
"Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant." - Tony Robbins
By choosing to shape your gratitude and rid yourself of expectations, life will reward you with more of the things that you want, because that is where you are diverting your focus.
It feels better to share an experience or your possessions with someone who does not expect anything from you and appreciates you unconditionally, so why not become that person?